Without healing, changes in perception, social skills, stress reduction, and the building of support systems that work for us individually, we are left surviving rather than thriving (Knopf, 2017). I as an experienced counselor with over eight years of experience know how to help patients with addiction begin this part of the healing process.
The idea of stopping the use of a substance that we believe helped us to function in our day-to-day lives is anxiety provoking. What will give us energy? How will I face the day? How will I handle stress? At the same time, at some level we become aware that this same substance is creating problems in our lives. Often, it makes anxiety or depression worse. Many times, it leads to issues with loved ones to the point where they begin avoiding us or worse, disown us. Sometimes we have encounters with law enforcement. Eventually we may be hospitalized or seek emergency room treatment. We may begin sustaining injuries or becoming victims of violence or perpetrators of it. If we are blessed, we realize that something must change.
For most people, change is scary or at the very least, uncomfortable. It often comes with fear of loss. The answer to this is support. Many people who use substances report feeling different or isolated since they were young. Often, we feel like outsiders even in our own families. Some realize that by the time they considered stopping use, they were already estranged from the love of family and friends. Development of a healthy social network puts an end to that. It can be achieved in several ways including 12 step groups, church, and professional counseling.
Human beings need community. We do not thrive alone. Stopping the use of a substance often feels like walking away from people, places, and things we relied upon. There is grieving involved in losing something that we believed was there when no one else was. What do we do to contend with that sense of loss? Human beings seek relationships and once a person enters recovery, these relationships sustain us in the rough days to come and make joyful days more worthwhile. There is also a spiritual component to recovery that each person must decide to work for themselves, and this is also a cornerstone of sobriety.
That is real. People have let us down and we have let others down. We are ashamed of things we have done and angry at others for what they have done to us. With little trust, counseling is often a solution. One of the benefits of counseling is someone to talk to who is legally bound to keep our confidentiality. We often hesitate to open up because we have been talked about negatively in the past. This is important because for some, counseling is the only time they have opened up and been honest about their feelings and their lives. This helps to begin healing and decreases the sense of separation and shame. Eventually, counseling can help us learn about who we really are as opposed to what we did. There is a difference!
Sometimes it is the first time someone learns that they are worthy, entitled to respect, and capable. It is a training ground for life and should be a holistic experience. Counselors should teach about love and acceptance of self and others. Counselors should hear patients and help the patient to identify their own goals. People living in the agony of addiction need help to see the possibility of a life in recovery with all its blessings. They need help to overcome the pain of their pasts and to learn ways to negotiate the world in a healthy manner.
Long ago, someone said, “Grow or die.” This is true in nature and true for people. Change is part of growth at any stage in our lives. For some of us, change and growth slowed when we began to use substances. It is time to walk out into the sunlight and begin to blossom and claim what life has to offer. Freedom is attainable.
Jody Martin, LCAS, MA
Reference: Knopf, A. (2017). Counseling is essential in SUD treatment, even with medications. Alcoholism & Drug Abuse Week, 29(16), 1-4. https://doi.org/10.1002/adaw.30920
